Large Birds, Spiders And Momtwo And A Half Men ... Site

The condor immediately took flight in terror. The spider curled into a ball and rolled off the deck into the sand.

The doorbell rang. It wasn’t the date. It was .

Perched on the railing was a the size of a small aircraft. Next to it, a massive Tarantula —likely a runaway from a neighbor’s exotic collection—was casually making its way toward Charlie’s discarded sandwich. Large Birds, Spiders and MomTwo and a Half Men ...

“Alan, I’m telling you, it’s staring at me,” Charlie hissed, peering through the glass sliding door.

Charlie Harper’s beachfront Malibu deck was usually reserved for expensive scotch and questionable decisions, but today it looked like a deleted scene from a low-budget horror movie. The condor immediately took flight in terror

“Thanks, Mom,” Charlie muttered, pouring a double. “I guess there’s always a bigger predator in the room.”

“I don’t care if you named them 'The Pointer Sisters,' get them off my deck! I have a date coming over in twenty minutes and ‘Death by Nature’ isn't the vibe I’m going for.” It wasn’t the date

“It’s a majestic creature of the sky, Charlie! And the spider is just a misunderstood arachnid,” Alan chirped, adjusting his beige windbreaker. “Besides, I’ve named the bird 'Freedom' and the spider 'Leggsy.'”